Inshingano 5 z’abagabo nk’umuti w’isenyuka ry’ingo

Abemera Bibiliya nk’ijambo ry’Imana, tuzi ko Imana yaremye Adamu nk’umugabo wa mbere wabayeho ku isi ikamuha inshingano zo guhingira ingobyi ya Edeni no kuyirinda, hamwe no kwita ku muryango (Itangiriro 2:15).

Iyo urebye ibibazo biri mu miryango n’isenyuka ry’ingo rya hato na hato rigezweho ubu, uhita ubona ko hari ikibazo gikomeye kandi gikwiriye kwitabwaho bikiri mu maguru mashya. Kugira ngo urugo rwubakwe neza kandi rukomere, hagomba kubaho uruhare rwa buri wese mu bagize umuryango ariko cyane cyane umugabo n’umugore kuko ni bo rufatiro rw’umuryango.

Muri iyi nkuru turavuga ku nshingano umugabo agomba kuzuza kugira ngo birinde umuryango gusenyuka. Abagore na bo tuzabavugaho mu nyandiko yacu y’ubutaha.

1.Umugabo ategerejweho gutanga byose

Akenshi hari igihe umusore yumva ageze igihe cyo kubaka urugo, ariko akabiterwa n’igitutu yashizweho n’ababyeyi cyangwa urungano, cyangwa akabona imyaka imujyanye, kuba yumva yifuza imibonano mpuzabitsina ihoraho n’ibindi ariko ntamenye ko urugo ruzatuma abazwa byinshi. Burya hari inshingano ziba zimutereje kugira ngo urugo rubeho kandi neza. Iyo impamvu zatumye yubaka urugo ari zimwe mu zo tuvuze hejuru, agerayo agasanga urugo ruhabanye n’ibyo yategekezaga, maze bikamugora. Icyo gihe abenshi bata ingo cyangwa bakazigumamo ariko zubatse nabi.

Ubusanzwe kugira ngo umuntu azabe umugabo mwiza, ategurwa kare, agatozwa gukora. Ibi kuva kera ni ko byagendaga. Wasabwaga kugira igikorwa ukora kigaragaza ko uzabasha kubaka urugo, wenda ukaba wasabwa kwiyubakira inzu yawe, kwiharika umurima n’ibindi.

Muri iki gihe umusore aricara agatekereza ko agomba kurongora ariko wareba neza ubuzima abaho ugasanga ntiyiteguye mu marangamutima cyangwa mu buryo busanzwe. Abasore bamwe barambagiza umukobwa bashingiye ku mashuri afite, umuryango avukamo, ubucuruzi akora n’ibindi. Mu mvugo y’ab’iki gihe, arabaza ngo “Ese afite akantu?” Gufatanya n’umugore wawe mugakora kugira ngo urugo rubeho ni byiza cyane. Guhunga inshingano ukumva ko zizakorwa n’umugore si byiza kuko bizanira umugore kuremererwa, akazinukwa urugo bikaba byabaviramo gusenya.
Abagabo bakwiriye kumenya ko abagore bishimira ubufatanye mu gushaka ibitunga urugo ariko birabagora iyo babonye umugabo ahunga inshingano akazishyira ku mugore we.

2.Umugabo ni umurinzi w’umuryango we

Imwe mu miterere y’abagabo ni ugukora ikintu kimwe akakirangiza agafata ikindi, mu gihe abagore bo bakorera ibintu byinshi icya rimwe kandi bikagenda neza.
Abagabo bamwe bashyira imbaraga mu gushaka ibitunga umuryango, gukora akazi, gushaka amafaranga y’ishuri ry’abana, kubaka inzu, kugura imodoka n’ibindi ariko akibagirwa ko umuntu kugira ngo abeho hari ibindi akeneye bijyanye n’amarangamutima n’ibindi.

Iyo ushatse ibifatika gusa ukabihugiramo, ukibagirwa kurinda amarangamutima y’abagize umuryango no kubaha urukundo, agaciro n’amahoro, bizarangira umuryango ugize ibibazo.

Iyo uguriye abana tereviziyo ntiwibuke kureba ibyo bareba ngo ubarinde, uzasanga bareba firime z’urukozasoni. Iyo ubahaye amafaranga ntiwibuke kubaba hafi ngo umenye icyo bayakoresha, uzasanga bayaguramo urumogi. Iyo uganiriye n’abana benshi banywa ibiyobyabwenge n’inzoga, usanga bamwe barabuze igihe n’urukundo by’ababyeyi maze bakishora muri izo ngeso zikabangiza kuko baba badafite ubaba hafi.

Iki gihe cy’ikoranabuhanga na cyo kirimo byinshi bisaba ko tuba hafi y’abana kuko ikoranabuhanga iyo rikoreshejwe neza ritanga umusaruro mwiza ariko iyo bitagenze bityo rikoreshwa mu bindi bitari byiza bityo hakinjira ibyaha bishya mu muryango kandi bije kuwusenya.

Si abana gusa bakeneye papa kuko n’umugore, iyo umuha byose ariko atakubona ngo muganire ku mishinga y’urugo, ngo akubwire ibimubabaza n’ibimushimisha, amaherezo urukundo rwanyu rurahazaharira. Abagabo bakwiriye kwibuka kurinda abagize umuryango ngo bawurinde ubukene ariko banibuka kurinda amarangamutima ya wo, n’ibyayakomeretsa byose.

3. Umugabo akwiriye kwiyumvamo ko ari papa w’abana

Umubyeyi w’umugabo hari inshingano agomba kuzuza mu kurera abana. Kugira ngo umwana akure neza akeneye urukundo rwa mama n’igitsure cya se, ukamuhuguzanya ubugwaneza n’urukundo.

Ijambo ry’Imana riravuga ngo: “Bagore, mugandukire abagabo banyu nk’uko bikwiriye abari mu Mwami wacu. Bagabo, namwe mukunde abagore banyu ntimubasharirire. Bana, mwumvire ababyeyi banyu muri byose, kuko ibyo ari byo Umwami ashima ba se, ntimukarakaze abana banyu batazinukwa. (Abakorosayi 3:18-21)

Akenshi kubera ko ubuzima busigaye buhenze, hari igihe twikuraho inshingano za kibyeyi. Hari ababyeyi bajyana abana b’incuke kwiga mu mashuri biga bacumbika cyangwa bakabajyana hanze y’igihugu kuko badafite umwanya wo kubarera. Niwiyemeza kurongora uzibuke ko uzaba papa w’abana kandi ko abo bana bagukeneye.

Umwana iyo ari munsi y’imyaka 12 aba azi ko umuntu w’igitangaza ku isi ari papa. Rero iyo utamubaye hafi ngo umurememo umuntu muzima, umenye ko abandi bazamugira icyo bashaka akazabaho uko utabiteganyaga. Rimwe na rimwe arakuzinukwa akaba umwanzi wawe kuko igihe yari agukeneye nta cyo wamumariye.

Burya mu buzima habaho ibintu bibiri. Umwana arabanza akagukenera, nawe ukazamukenera ukuze. Mu Kinyarwanda baravuga ngo “Habaho ndinda mubyeyi na ndinda mwana”. Burya ibyo ukora uyu munsi, ni imbuto uba uri kubiba. Igihe uzamukenera utaramubaye hafi nk’umubyeyi, ntiwizere ko hari icyo azakumarira numara gusaza kuko ntuzaba waratoje amarangamutima ye gukunda.

4.Abagabo bakwiriye kwatura amagambo meza ku bagize umuryango

Abanyarwanda baravuga ngo: “So ntakwanga akwita nabi”. Ngira ngo uwahimbye uyu mugani yatekerezaga ko iyo wiswe izina ribi bigira aho bihurira n’imyitwarire yawe. Hari n’abavuga ngo “Izina ni ryo muntu”. Ibi bigaragaza ko ababyeyi bafite ubushobozi mu magambo baturira ku bana babo.

Ibikomere bimwe abantu bagendana n’amagambo yuzuye urwango, ivangura, guteshwa agaciro, kwamburwa ubumuntu, bimwe bikomoka ku byo babwiwe n’ababyeyi babo cyangwa ababareze. Bamwe babwiwe ko zimwe mu ngingo z’imibiri yabo atari nziza, ko badakora ibintu neza, bahora babagereranya n’abandi, barabavangura, babwiwe ko bavutse badakenewe, n’ibindi.

Ibi mvuze haruguru n’ibindi ntavuze bizanira abana ihungabana rikabije bityo ejo hazaza habo hakicwa n’ayo mateka atari meza banyuzemo. Ababyeyi bakwiriye kumenya kwatura ibintu byiza ku bana babo kuko bibaremamo ubugabo, kwigirira icyizere no kumenya gukora. Mu gihe babwiwe ko ari beza, bashoboye, ko ejo habo ari heza n’ibindi byiza, bizatuma bavamo abantu bifitiye icyizere.

5. Umugabo ni umutambyi w’umuryango

Mu bigize umuntu haba harimo n’imyizerere. Umugabo agomba gufata iya mbere mu gutoza abana n’abagize umuryango kubaha Imana n’ubwo benshi bafite insengero na kiriziya basengeramo ariko ntibihagije kuko ibyo bigishirijwe mu muryango bibagirira akamaro kuruta ibyo bakura ahandi hose.

Ijambo ry’Imana riravuga ngo: “Kuko Aburahamu atazabura guhinduka ubwoko bukomeye bw’ubunyamaboko, kandi amahanga yose yo mu isi azaherwa umugisha muri we. Kuko icyatumye mumenya, ari ukugira ngo ategeke abana be n’abo mu rugo rwe bazakurikiraho, gukomeza mu nzira y’Uwiteka, bakora ibyo gukiranuka baca imanza zitabera, kugira ngo Uwiteka azanire Aburahamu ibyo yamuvuzeho.” (Itangiriro 18:18-19)

Rimwe na rimwe hari ubwo tudatoza umuryango kubaha Imana, maze abana batangira ishuri tukajya gushaka ibigo by’abihayimana kuko twizera ko bazahabona uburere buzima ariko burya ntitwahunga uruhare rwacu nk’abagabo mu gutoza abagize umuryango kubaha Imana.

Izi nshingano abagabo tuzujuje byarinda umuryango gusenyuka kandi tukizera ko ejo hazaza hazaba heza. Buri wese naharanire gukora uruhare rwe mu kubaka umuryango bityo tuzagire ejo hazaza hazima kandi tuzabasha kuramira n’ingo zatangiye kugira ibibazo.
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