Impamvu abakijijwe bakiri bato bakwiye kwitonda mbere yo kwinjira mu rukundo

Ubusanzwe gukunda si bibi, nta nikibazo kirimo kuba umuntu yavuga ko akunda undi hatitawe ku myaka. Mu matorero akenshi iyo baha impuguro abakiri bato bakunze kubereka ko atari byiza ko bagira abo bakundana mu gihe nta gahunda yo kurushinga irimo gutegurwa. Abavuga ibi babishingira ku kuba bene izi nkundo zikunze kuvamo imyitwarire idahwitse, iyo benshi bakunze kwita agakungu, rimwe na rimwe binagusha urubyiruko mu byaha.

Nubwo nta myaka igenwe yo kugira uwo mukunda waba umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa, hari iteganywa n’amategeko yo kurushinga bitewe n’igihugu runaka, imico runaka n’ibindi.

Hari naho usanga umukobwa cyangwa umuhungu iyo adafite uwo bakundana bishobora no kumutera ipfunwe muri bagenzi be, bakamwita ikigwari. Ibi bishobora gutuma urubyiruko rufata ibyemezo rimwe na rimwe bihubukiwe bishobora no kubashora mu bikorwa bibi by’ubusambanyi.

Hari abakora ibi kubera ibigare, yifuza kuba nk’abandi. Icyakora ibi bikunze kugaragara ahaternira urubyiruko rwinshi nko mu bigo by’amashuri.

Tugarutse rero by’umwihariko ku rubyiruko rukijijwe cyangwa se rw’abakristo ariko cyane abakiri bato, si byiza kubumvisha ko ari bibi kugira inshuti ariko inama umuntu yabaha ni ukubyitondera niba nta gahunda yo kurushinga bafite.

Impamvu ni uko uyu witwa Boyfriend (inshuti y’umuhungu) cyangwa se Girlfriend (inshuti y’umukobwa) wawe, aba ari umuntu w’umwihariko mu buzima bwawe, mubana ubuzima butandukanye n’ubw’abandi.

Ikindi ni uko bisaba kugirana umwanya w’umwihariko ndetse n’ahantu hihariye ari nabyo rimwe na rimwe biza kubaviramo kugwa mu bishuko bitandukanye.

Dore zimwe mu mpamvu umuntu yavuga ko urubyiruko rwa gikristo rukwiye kwitonda mbere yo kwinjira mu rukundo cyane ku bakiri bato cyane:

1. Urubyiruko rwa gikristo rugomba kwitonda kugira ngo rwirinde kugwa mu bishuko. Impamvu ni uko iyo ufashe umuntu ukamukura mu bandi ngo ni inshuti yawe hari ibintu aba agutegerejemo (expectations) kandi byihariye ugomba kumukorera nyamara akenshi nta bushobozi uba ubifitiye ukirimuri iyi myaka yo hasi. Iyo rero bidakunze umutima ushobora kugushuka ko hari icyo ukwiye gukora ngo unezeze uwo ukunda Satani akahazanira ibishuko byinshi bikarangirira mu marira.

2. Kwirinda ibikomere biva mu gutandukana kw’abakundana. Hari imyaka urubyiruko rw’abakiri bato, baba bagifite impinduka nyinshi mu buzima bwabo ndetse no ku mubiri. Uko izi mpinduka ziza, niko umuntu agenda abona ko hari ubundi buzima agomba kubamo butandukanye nubwo yabagamo, iyo rero habayeho gutandukana abantu basigarana ibikomere by’imitima, rimwe na rimwe bigira ingaruka ku buzima bw’imbere.

Ubu abantu benshi bagendana ibikomere byo mu rukundo bitewe n’ibyo bahuriyemo.

3. Ni uko ubuzima bw’urubyiruko bugizwe n’impinduka nyinshi. Biroroshye ku muntu wo mu myaka yo hasi guhinduka nk’uko twabivuze haruguru yaba we ubwe n’ubuzima bwe bushobora guhinduka (aho aba-yagiye kwiga ahandi n’ibindi byinshi cyane ko ataba yigenga ku buzima bwe). Aba agifite abantu benshi bagira uruhare mu myanzuro afata. Mbese ubuzima bw’umuntu w’iyi myaka burangwa n’impinduka nyinshi kandi zitandukanye.

4. Nibyiza kwirinda kwishyira mu nshingano ukiri muto. Akenshi iyo umuntu afite inshuti bimushyira mu mugozi wo kwinjira mu nshingano ukiri muto. Ibi bishobora kugutera kurambirwa inshingano hakiri kare kandi n’ubundi zigutegereje imbere.

Mu by’ukuri birababaje kubona umuntu yarabihiwe n’ubuzima ataraninjiramo. Ibyiza umuntu yakwishimira ubuzima bwo kuba ingaragu kandi akabyubahiramo Imana hanyuma bwarangira ukazakuba no mu buzima bw’abashakanye kuko nabwo n’ikindi cyiciro uba ugomba kwishimira.

Nta bwo tubwira abantu ko kugira inshuti ku rubyiruko rukijijwe rudafite gahunda yo kurushinga ari bibi. Ariko mbere yo gufata icyo cyemezo byaba byiza kubitekerezo bihagije kugira ngo wirinde zimwe mu ngaruka twavuze haruguru. Ikindi hakwiye kubaho kwirinda cyane niba dushaka kubaha Imana kugira ngo hatabaho kugwa mu bishuko bitandukanye bishobora no kugushora mu bikorwa by’ubusambanyi.

Ngizo zimwe mu nama urubyiruko rukijijwe rugirwa, niba uri muri aba ni ahawe ho gutekereza mbere y’ikindi cyose waba ugiye gukora kugira ngo wirinde izi ngaruka, kandi ubeho buzima bwubaha Imana.