Ibintu 7 byangiza imibanire y’abashakanye

Muri ibi bihe bigoye usanga mu isi harimo ibibazo byinshi bihangayikishije abantu, buri muntu wese yireba we ubwe, ntihagire nufata akanya ko kugenzura ubuzima bw’urugo rwe (couple). Ni ikntu k’ingenzi k’umukristo wese gufata akanya ko gusuzuma ubuzima bwa couple kugirango turebe ahakenewe gushakirwa umuti/gukosorwa kugirango ibintu bigende neza.

Nk’abakristo imibiri yacu ingomba gutangwa nk’ibitambo bizima bishimimwa n’Imana. Hari ibibazo bishobora kuza bitewe n’impamvu zinyuranye kandi bikatugusha bikangiza n’ingo zacu, tutabaye maso. Ubuzima gatozi bw’urugo bushobora gupfa gahoro gahoro tutigeze tubimenya tugashiduka byageze kure hamwe n’urugo rwasenyuka. Umujura nta kindi kimuzuna uretse gusenya, kwiba no kwica.

Reka turebere hamwe ibintu 7 bishobora gusenya urugo tutabaye maso, ariko umuti wa byose tuwusanga mu ijambo ry’Imana kuko niyo nkota yacu.

1 kwikunda (Egoisme)

Urugo ni umugabo n’umugore bashyira hamwe bakiyemeza kubana akaramata. Nkuko Bibiliya ibivuga abashakanye bombi nkuko baba barasezeranye kubana akaramata buri wese afite inshingano zo gukora uko ashoboye kugirango bigende neza.

Muri ibi bihe abantu baratese bafite ubuzima bworoshye tugereranyije nubwo ababyeyi cyangwa abasekuruza bacu babayemo, ari nayo mpamvu abantu bahunga inshingano zabo kuko baba bafite guhitamo kwinshi, ntakwihanganirana kukibaho, nta kwanga umugayo,..... Buri wese arireba ku giti cye no mu bashakanye buri wese akaba nyamwigendaho, aho kugirango bahurize hamwe barebere hamwe ibyifuzo byabo babyumvikaneho hatagize ubogamirwa cyangwa ukandamizwa. Imana ikunda ubumwe, abashyize hamwe Imana irabasanga.

Umuti w’iki kibazo nuko buri wese yiyibagirwa akitangira undi. Yesu yirengagije imibabararo yari agiye guhura nayo kugirango ugushaka kwa se gukorwe. Buri wese agomba kuba umugaragu w’undi , tukamenya inshingano Imana yaduhaye. Buri wese azabazwa uko yabyitwayemo. Ari abatware, abafasha, abana, imigisha twahawe tuzabazwa uko twabyitwayemo.Twibuke inkuru y’amatalanto. No mu ba Galatiya 5:13 Haravuga ngo"Bene Data, mwahamagariwe umudendezo, ariko umudendezo wanyu ntimukawugire urwitwazo rwo gukurikiza ibya kamere, ahubwo mukorerane mu rukundo".
umuti
Abagalatiya 5:16 Ndavuga nti "Muyoborwe n’Umwuka" kuko aribwo mutazakora ibyo kamere irarikira".

2.Gusuzugurana cyangwa kutubahana (Mefiance)

Urugo rutizerana ni nk’igiti kidafite imizi, nta rufatiro ruba rufite, kutizerana kw’abashakanye bituma habaho icyuho kinini cyane abantu bagatangira gukekerana.1Abakorinto 13:5 Haratubwira ngo"Urukundo ntirukora ibiteye isoni, ntirushaka ibyarwo, ntiruhutiraho ntirutekereza ikibi ku bantu", ibyo bigatuma umwe atakishimira undi, urukundo rukazima, satani akaba abonye icyuho cyo gusenya. Ikizere nuko abashakanye bombi bizerana, bakumvikana umwe agatahura undi,akamwiyumvamo, kandi bakirinda icyababaza.

3. Guceceka (silence)

Hari impamvu nyinshi zatuma umuntu aceceka, bishobora no kuba uburyo bwacu bwo gushaka kwikemurira ibibazo. Buri silence iba ifite ubutumwa cyangwa icyo ishaka kuvuga (igisobanuro).Guhitamo guceceka aho kugirango uvuge byica ubusabane ( dialogue). Bigatera gutinya kuvuga ikirii ku mutima, kwerakana sentiments, gutinya ko uwo ubwira atari bukumve cyangwa ko ibyo wifuza kuvuga mugenzi wawe yazabigucyurira, cyangwa akabikoresha nk’intwaro yo kugusenya.

Hari igihe umwe mu bashakanye yanga neza kuvuga agaceceka, bigatera mugenzi we uburakari ndetse bikanamukomeretsa. Guceceka nta kibazo nta kimwe bikemura ahubwo birasenya. Birakwiye ko abashakanye bagendera bombi mu mucyo nkuko baba barasezeraniye imbere y’Imana kuko Imana ni umucyo.

Umuti:

Abefeso 5:8 haratubwira ngo" Kuko kera mwari umwijima, none mukaba muri umucyo mu Mwami wacu. Nuko mugende nk’abana b’umucyo, kuko imbuto z’umucyo ari ingeso nziza zose no gukiranuka n’ukuri".

4. Kugira ijambo ryanyuma ( Dernier mot)

Hari umugani uvuga ngo Celui qui veut avoir raison a tord, meme s’il a raison. Gushaka kugira raison ni ugushaka kwiha agaciro wishyira hejuru y’undi. Ni uburyo bubi cyane bwo kwica ikiganiro/ubusabane ( dialogue), ndetse bikica na relation hagati y’abashakanye. Ni ukuvuga ko mugenzi wawe uba wamushyize munsi y’ibirenge byawe. Umuntu ushaka guhora afite raison ntaba ashaka n’ukuri, icyo aba yimirije imbere ni ugukandamiza, ndetse kenshi n’ikiguzi cyose byasaba aba yiteguye kugitanga. Twige kwicisha bugufi iyo mico y’abafalisayo tuyireke, tugendere m’urukundo rw’abana b’Imana.

Umuti:

Abafalisayo ni abantu bahoraga bishyira imbere,ari indyarya..Luka 16:15 "Arababwira ati "Mwebwe mukunda kwigira abakiranutsi imbere y’abantu ariko Imana izi imitima yanyu."

Kwicisha bugufi byoroshya imibanire y’abashakanye kandi bigatuma ubusabane n’imibanire y’abashakanye bigenda neza.

5. Kutihanganinarama

Iki ni kimwe mu bintu biranga Egoisme, bitera kutumvikana kudahuza. Umwe ntiyihanaganira undi ( Ne supporte pas l’autre tel qu’il est). Umuntu agahora ashaka guhindura mugenzi we, amutegeka uko agomba kwitwara, ntiyihanganire integenke cyangwa uburyo bwo kubaho bwa mugenzi we.

Niba utemera mugenzi wawe uko ari, ibyo bizatera urugo rwanyu gusenyuka. Twirinde gushaka guhindura abo tutaremye ahubwo tubasengere naho kubashyiraho contraintes cyangwa pressions birasenya. Abashakanye bombi bagomba kwihanganirana buri wese akemera undi uko ari. Erega nta ntungane ibaho.
Umuti

L’amour/urukundo ( Celui qui aime) ntabwo acika intege, ntata undi, ntamukuraho amaboko, muri byose arizera, akagira ibyiringiro kandi akihanganira byose. 1 Abakorinto 13:7 Urukundo rubabarira byose, rwizera byose, rwiringira byose, rwihanganira byose.

6. Gukandamiza/Domination

Umuntu ushaka ku domina mugenzi we cyangwa kumutegeka byica (tue l’amour), aba ashaka ko bamupfukamira, bamuramya, niwe wiharira responsabillites zose z’urugo ntagirwa inama, ntava kw’izima, ntawe umugira inama byose niwe ubi controla. Iyo ari umudamu usanga ari bamwe babaye ibishegabo bategeka abagabo babo. abagabo nabo ugasanga bigize ibigirwamana barataha abo mu rugo bose bagahungabana. Ibi byose ni bibi bituma habaho resistances, tensions na stress muri couple, muri famille.
Umuti

Abafiripi 2:3 Ntihakire icyo mukorera kwirema ibice cyangwa kwifata uko mutari, ahubwo mwicishe bugufi mu mitima, umuntu wese yibwire mu mitima ko mugenzi we amuruta.

7.Ishyari ( Jalousie)

Jalousie isenya ingo nyinshi. Umuntu ufite ishyari agambira ibibi igihe cyose, muri couple bitera concurrence, rivalite, comparaison, envie,..... Ishyari rihumanya ibitekerezo by’umuntu, imigambi ye, gahunda ze, imishinga ye ( empoisonner) kandi byose byerekeza ku gusenya urugo. Umwe mu bashakanye iyo afite ishyari ntanyurwa, ahora akekakeka, kandi afite inzika.

Umuti

1 Abakorinto 3:3 Kuko mukiri aba kamere. Ubwo muri mwe harimo ishyari n’amahane , mbese ntimubaye abakamere koko ntimugenza nk’abantu?

Ijambo ry’Imana mu Abagalatiya 5:21 riratubwira ngo abakora ibya kamere ntibazaragwa ubwami bw’Imana.
Imana iguhishurire icyo wakora niba hari icyo usanze Satani yangije mu mibanire yawe na mugenzi wawe.
Imana y’imbabazi,amahoro n’urukundo nibane natwe.

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