Ibikwiye kwitabwaho mbere yo gufata icyemezo cyo kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa

Nufata icyemezo cyo kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa, menya ko ubukwe bwawe bukwinjije mu wundi muryango kandi bukakunga nawo.

Nzi abantu benshi cyane barongora cyangwa barongorwa batekereza ko isano izaguma hagati yabo gusa, ariko ibi biba ari akaga gakomeye. Iyo rero urongoye cyangwa urongowe, uba winjiye mu buzima bwa kivandimwe n’umuryango w’uwo mushakanye, ntabwo mukomeza kwibanira muri babiri basa. Muba mubaye ipfundo ryunga iyo miryango ibiri, kuko iyo mumaze gushyingiranwa iyo miryango yanyu iba ibaye nk’;abavandimwe.

Ni yo mpamvu iyo ugejeje igihe cyo kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa ntabwo aba ari igihe cyo kwitegereza uburanga bw’umukobwa cyangwa umusore gusa, ahubwo ni ngombwa no kwitegereza umuryango we kugira ngo umenye umuryango ugiye kwinjiramo uwo ari wo. Iyo ugeze mu gihe cyo gutekereza kuri ibi, hari byinshi uba ugomba kwitaho.

Ushobora kwinjira mu muryango w’abanebwe, ndakubwira ukuri ko icyuya kizakurenga nurongora umukobwa uteye atyo, cyangwa se nubana n’umusore uteye atyo. Bizakugora cyane kumusakuriza umushishikariza gushaka ubuzima. Uzi ko ushobora gushaka umukobwa utazi no gusonga ubugali?

Abandi ntibagira ayo mahirwe, kandi ku bakobwa ni bibi cyane. Byaba rero ari akaga kuri twe nk’ababyeyi kuba abana bacu barushinga batazi imirimo itandukanye, nko guteka. Kubw’ibyo, ni ngombwa amenye guteka, kuko iyo abizi bigaragaza umuryango aturukamo n’uburyo yarezwe.

Ushobora gutekereza ko uri kurera abana bawe neza, nyamara muri iki gihe hari ingorane z’uko dusigaye dufite abakozi mu ngo zacu. Iyo ufite umukozi mu rugo rwawe, kenshi abana bawe ntacyo bakora. Ubundi kandi usanga barya bagasiga amasahani aho ku meza.
Hari abandi bana bagera mu mashuri yisumbuye batazi kumesa imyenda yabo, kuko mu rugo baba bafite uwo kubamesera, cyangwa se hari imashini zimesa. Nyamara, aho ushyingiwe bashobora kuba bataranabona imashini imesa, hanyuma wagerayo ukabaza uti ‘imashini iri he?’ Nabo bakakubaza bati ‘yo gukora iki?’ ‘Yo gusya ibigori se?’ Kuko ari yo mashini basanzwe bazi.

None se nawe, ntuzi no guhindura ikirahure cy’itara cyangwa se guhanaguramo umukungugu! Byashoboka ko umwe yanavukiye mu nzu irimo umuriro, ariko washyingirwa ukajya mu nzu itarimo uwo muriro, wagerayo ugatangara kuko utazi no gucana itara ry’ikirahuri. Kubw’ibyo, turashishikariza abana kwiga gukora imirimo itandukanye, batabikoreye guhitamo, kabone n’ubwo waba ufite uwo kubigukorera mu rugo.

Nagiye ahantu hamwe, baravuga bati ‘twe mu muco wacu iyo ushaka kurongora umukobwa kandi ushaka kumenya ko azi cyangwa atazi gukora akazi runaka, ntureba uburyo yambaye. Ahubwo ujya iwabo, wajya kuhagera ukitegereza inzira ijyayo uburyo itunganijwe. Iyo usanze irimo umwanda, uhita wanzura ko uyu mukobwa ari umunyamwanda. Icyo gihe ntiwirirwa wigora ujya kuvugana nawe byinshi. Uhita uvuga uti’niba mfite na gahunda yo kumurongora, ariko icyo nzi ni uko ngiye kurongora umunyamwanda.

Ushobora kujya kurambagiza mu wundi muryango, ugasanga barwaye indwara zikomoka ku mwanda. Iyo rero utazi uko wabyifatamo uzahahurira n’akaga gakomeye cyane. Ariko icyo nshaka kukubwira ni uko kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa bikwinjiza mu wundi muryango burundu, bikawunga n’uwawe. Kubw’ibyo, si icyemezo cyo gupfa gufatwa. Wibuke ko iyo urongoye cyangwa urongowe, uba winjije abantu bawe mu muryango kuburyo bishobora kukubyarira ibibazo utazikuramo mu gihe udashishoje, ariko iyo ushishoje bikubyarira umugisha.

Ev. Mwakasege