Ibikomeza umubano mwiza w’ abashakanye (igice 2).

5. Gucungira hamwe umutungo w’ urugo n’ ikoreshwa ryawo.

Umutungo ubereyeho gutanga uburyo bwo gufasha umuryango gutera imbere no kugera ku cyo ugamije. Ibyo bishoboka iyo abashakanye bawucungira hamwe mu bwumvikane. Iyo uwo mutungo ubaye ukoreshwa mu kugaragaza ubushobozi bw’ umwe mu bashakanye, uhinduka nk’ igikoresho cyo gukandamiza mugenzi wawe, bityo umutungo ukaba wabasenyera.

Hari igihe ukorera amafaranga yumva ari aye, akayacunga uko abyumva. Icyo gihe udakorera amafaranga asa nuhindutse ugenerwaugomba gusabiriza kugira ngo agure igikenewe cyose. Abashakanye bagomba gusobanukirwa ko na wa wundi udafite akazi kamuha umushahara afite ibikorwa bikomeye mu rugo rwabo, agaciro kabyo kakaba kanasumba ak’ umushahara mugenzi we yinjiza.

Umwe mu bashakanye ashobora kuba acunga ibintu cyane, undi agasa n’ usesagura. Ibibazo bituruka ku mutungo n’ ikoreshwa ry’amafaranga bikomoka ku micungire itumvikanyweho.

6. Kunoza umubano n’ umuryango mugari

Abashakanye bagomba gufatanya muri byose ku buryo n’abo mu miryango bamenya ko ntacyo umwe akora atabigiyemo inama n’ undi. Ibyemezo byose birebana n’ umuryango mugari, babyumvikanaho, bagafatira umwanzuro hamwe (kurihira abavandimwe amashuri, gufasha ababyeyi, gutwerera…) Itangiriro 2:24

Umubano utanoze n’ umuryango mugari, akenshi uturuka ku « kudasiga se na nyina » . Umwe mu bashakanye, aho kugisha inama mugenzi we ku bibazo by’ urugo ajya kuzigisha ab’iwabo, akaba ari na bo ubwira utubazo tw’ urugo ndetse ibyemezo birebana n’ imicungire y’ urugo rwabo igafatwa n’ umuryango uwo bashakanye atabigizemo uruhare. Ibyo bigomba kwiringwa kuko bikurura amakimbirane hagati y’abashakanye, bikaba byanabasenyera.

7. Kumvikana ku mibonanompuzabitsina.

Imibonano mpuzabitsina irategurwa. Ni ngobwa kumenya ko ubushake bw’ umugabo buzamuka vuba ariko umugore akenera igihe gihagije cyo gutegurwa kugira ngo umubiri we ube witeguye ndetse uvubure n’ ububobere butuma imibonano mpuzabitsina ikorwa nta kibazo. Ubushake bw’ imibonano mpuzabitsina ku mugabo buza mu buryo budahindagurika ibihe byose. Ubwo bushake ku mugore bwo burahindagurika bitewe n’ igihe by’ ukwezi k’ umugore, binakurikije imisemburo ivuburwa n’ umubiri we mu minsi itandukanye.

Abagabo bagomba kumenya ko kuba abagore babo badashidukira imibonano mpuzabitsina igihe cyose ku buyo bumwe bidaterwa n’ ikindi ahubwo ari iyo miterere yabo yihariye kandi ko iminsi imwe bidasaba gufata igihe kirekire cyo gutegurana kurusha iyindi.

Mu kurangiza imibonano mpuzabitsina, umugabo iyo arangije ahita yumva ahagarariye aho, anyuzwe. Umugore we iyo arangije atinda muri ako kanya ko kunyurwa n’ iyo mibonano, akumva kattarangira.

Iyo mibonano mpuzabitsina itegenda neza kubashakanye, biba intandaro y’ ibibazo byinshi binyuranye. Gucana inyuma kw’ abashakanye no kwica isezerano, bamwe babikora bitwaza ko imibonano mpuzabitsina na bagenzi babo itabanyuze. Ikibazo cy’ imibonano mpuzabitsina itanogeye buri wese kizanwa ahanini n’ uko abashakanye batabiganiraho ngo barebe uko barushaho kunoza iyo mibonano no gushimishanya.

Birakwiye ko abashakanye bita kumibonano mpuzabitsina yabo bakabiganiraho kugira ngo barebere hamwe ibibanyuze bombi bikababera isoko y’ umugisha n’ umunezero usangiwe. Ibyo ni byo byarinda buri wese guca inyuma y’ uwo mwashakanye, agakomera kubudahemuka, bikabatera ingabo ibarinda kwandura Virusi itera SDA n’ izindi ndwara zandurira mu myanya ndangagitsina.

8. Kujya inama ku birebana n’ urubyaro.

Intego yo gushyingiranwa si ukubyara gusa. Iyo biba ibyo, Imana iba yarabigize impamvu yo gutana ku babuze urubyaro, nyamara si ko biri. Iyo abashakanye babonye urubyaro, bagomba:

-Gufatira ibyemezo hamwe by’ umubare w’abana bazabyara n’ uburere babaha.

-Gufatanya kwita ku burere bw’ abana ntibihariwe umwe cyangwa ngo bombi babyihunze.

-Kumenya ko hari uburenganzira abana bafite kandi bugomba gukurikizwa,

-kurera abana babafasha kumenya Imana o kuyubaha ndetse bakubaha n’ abantu.

-Kwirinda gusunikira abana gufata uruhande rumwe mu gihe havutse amakimbirane hagati y’ abashakanye..

Kubona urubyaro si hame ryo kubona amahoro hagati y’abashakanye kuko nabyo bijya bikurura ubushamirane mu rugo, kubera impamvu nyinshi:

-Imyumvire itandukanye ku burere bw’abana;

-Ubushobozi buke bwo gutunga urugo no kwita ku bana n’ uburere bwabo cyane cyane iyo ari benshi;

-Kutagira umwanya uhagije wo kwita umwe ku wundi…

Kubura urubyaro ntibigomba kuba impamvu y’ ubwumvikane buke hagati y’abashakanye cyangwa ngo bitume umwe aca inyuma y’uwo bashakanye ashaka urubyaro. Ibyo bishobora gukurura amakimbirane no gusenya urugo ndetse bikaba byaba n’ intandaro yo kwandura virusi itera Sida n’ izindi ndwara zandurira mu mibonano mpuzabitsina.

9. Ibishobora kubangamira ubusabane bw’ abashakanye.

-Gukoresha itegeko;

-Gukoresha itarabwoba;

-Gutanga amabwiriza igihe cyose;

-Kumva ko ari wowe ufite ibisubizo ku bintu byose;

-Guca urubanza;

-Kubaza utubazo dusesereza (kubaza akari imurori)

- Kudaha agaciro ibihangayikishije mugenzi wawe;

-Guhindura ikibazo cya mugenzi wawe urwenya;

-Guceceka aho mugenzi wawe agutegerejeho igisubizo,…

Bikuwe mu gitabo Ubudahemuka.