Ese witeguye gushyingirwa cyangwa kubaka urugo(marriage)? Pastor Desire

Iki ni ikibazo cy’ingenzi, urabyiteguye?

Mbese ni ukuvuga ko ugeze umaze igihe wiyumvamo ubwo bushake. Ese ugeze
igihe wiyumvamo ibyo bimenyetso?

Abandi baravuga ngo uyu ni umwana ibyo avuga arabiterwa n’imitekerereze y’abana; ni byiza kumenya niba koko uri mu kigero cy’abantu bakuru ku buryo wakubaka urugo cyangwa ugashyingirwa.

Ariko iyo mvuga ibyo kwitegura gushyingirwa simvuga ikigero cy’imyaka gusa, ahubwo mvuga no kuba umuntu amaze gukura mu bitekerezo mu myumvire no mu mikorere.

Hari undi muntu nabonye ufite imyaka 40 y’amavuko ariko wareba ukabona nta bushake afite bwo kuzana umugore (haba mu migambi no mu mikorere) ntatekereza umugore cyangwa umukobwa, no muri we ntabwo yiyitaho. Abandi usanga bafite imyaka 50 ariko ukabona buri gihe bashidikanya cyangwa bashidikanywaho niba barwaye cyangwa ari bazima .

Hari n’abakobwa usanga bafite imyaka 45 y’amavuko, batari bashaka, banashaka na bwo imyubakire yabo y’urugo ikagira ibibazo.

Hari aho nagiye mpasanga umukobwa mukuru ariko ngiye kumusengera ntabwo yeruye ngo avuge tumusengere abone umugabo. Nuko ndibwira nti: “Reka mubaze wenda arabona biteye isoni kuvuga icyifuzo cyo kurongorwa kandi bigaragara ko akuze cyane(cyangwa ashaje).

Naramubajije nti: “Urashaka ko tugusengera kugira ngo urongorwe?(ubone umugabo). Umukobwa aransubiza ati: “Oya! Sinkeneye kurongorwa!”

Ndongera ndamubaza nti: “Kubera iki?”

Umukobwa ati: “Sinshaka kuzajya nsaba umugabo uruhushya igihe cyose ngiye kugira icyo nkora”.

Nuko ndamubaza nti: “Ese ufite akazi?”, arambwira ngo: “Yego”, nanjye nti: “Iyo ugiye gukorera Imana uradomoka gusa cyangwa usaba agahushya shobuja?(umukoresha)”

Aransubiza ati: “Iyo ngiye nsaba uruhushya databuja”.

Ndamubwira nti: “Ni kuki wumva gusaba uruhusa umukoresha wawe byoroshye nyuma ukabona ko gusaba uruhushya umugabo wawe byazajya bikunaniza?”

Yananiwe kunsubiza icyo kibazo, ndamubwira nti: “Muri wowe harimo ikibazo gikomeye kandi kinyuranye kure n’ibyo wibwira”.

Hari ubwo ureba umusore cyangwa umukobwa ukabona nta gahunda afite yo kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa, bene uwo ntimuzamuhate ngo mumwite
amazina ngo ararambiranye, ngo yaheze ku ishyiga n’ibindi bisa bityo.

Ntimukamuhate kurongorwa bitamurimo kuko aramutse agiye ku mugabo bitamurimo yazagira ingorane zishingiye ko atigeze agira uburenganzira bwo kwihitiramo ipfundo rizagenga imibereho ye.

Nyuma yaho nongeye kubaza umusore n’umukobwa buri wese n’umutimanama we niba yiyemeje kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa.

Icyo kibazo kigira ibindi bibazo bito bito bigufi, ku buryo ubibajijwe, yasubiza neza cyangwa nabi ariko nabonye ko tujya kurangiza ikiganiro umusore cyangwa umukobwa yakubwiye ibintu yamaze gutekerezaho neza.

Hariho undi mukobwa nabonye usanga ari we utunze urugo rw’iwabo; nujya kurongora cyangwa kurongorwa ntuzirengagize umuryango wakomotsemo cyangwa wakureze, kuko numara kujya mu rugo rwawe Bibilia iravuga iti: “Kuko azasiga se na nyina abane n’umugore cyangwa n’umugabo we akaramata(Zaburi 45:10)”.

Ntabwo twavuze ngo ntuzabafashe, uzabafashe mu bintu bimwe na bimwe ariko ntabwo uzabafasha muri byose.

Cyakora mugera igihe mukicara mukabiganiraho uburyo mwazajya mubitaho cyane cyane ko mwese hari igihe muba mufite imiryango ikeneye kwitabwaho.

Ushobora kuba warashakanye n’umuntu utita ku miryango ya bene wabo ni ukuvuga ko nta mutwaro afite wo kwita kuri bene wabo aho usanga buri wese yirebaho; ni nka ya ntare yo mu ishyamba, aho usanga ibaga ikifasha(nyamwigendaho).

Wowe ugifite ubushake bwo kwita ku babyeyi cyangwa umuryango wakureze, niba warabonye uburyo cyangwa akazi tangira ujye ubafasha buhoro buhoro.

Ikitonderwa: Hari ubwo utungurwa no kumva uwo mwashakanye akubwiye ngo uwo muntu(abo bantu) ntuzongere kubafasha, tekereza:

- Ibyo bizakuremerera buri gihe uko abo bene wanyu bagize ibibazo uzumva wagombye kugira icyo ukora cy’ubutabazi,

- Bizagera igihe uzajya ujyana ibintu mu ibanga kugirango ubafashe ibyo na byo bizatera andi makimbimbirane.

KWIYEMEZA GUSHINGA URUGO

Ku bw’ibyo kwiyemeza gushinga urugo ni ukumenya ngo tuzarushinga na kanaka na nyirakanaka ukabanza ukabitekereza neza kandi ukabisengera kugirango ubanze ubone ikimenyetso cy’uko muzahuza ibitekerezo.

Birakwiye ko mbere y’uko uvuga ijambo ngo ndemeye(ndiyemeje) banza usenge ubyitegure kuko gushinga urugo bigiye guhindura byinshi mu bugingo bwawe, amen.